2008 – a new year, with new resolutions, new hopes and new dreams about new beginnings.
For me, 2007 was an incredible year, full of the highs and lows, and struggles and triumphs that life brings.
One of the ‘lows’ has been the sad way that our website has been ‘spammed’ with pornography and other unwanted links and material. Deleting and fighting this has taken up an incredible amount of time, and Jon and I are working on ways to stop it. I still fail to understand how anyone who has read the content of our forum, can still post sites they know will upset and disturb people who are struggling to overcome the effect of trauma in their lives.
A big ‘high’ was returning to England with Jeff Hall, who owns the award winning Maximus Media audio visual studios in Fresno, and who is working on the documentary of my life. We went to England specifically to interview the wonderful people you read about in ‘Out of the Dark’, who stood by me during my breakdown and healing. I then flew on to Africa, where my brother, Brendan, his wife, Sharon, and I chartered a light aircraft to fly us from Lusaka, in Zambia, to the lower Zambezi Valley. There, we filmed the wonderful, wild part of Africa that I love so much. I will outline the reason we are making this documentary, and why I am so excited about it, in another letter.
As we begin 2008, I want to remind you that I pray constantly for everyone who reads my book, comes onto this site, or hears my story in any other way. I may not know who you are, but God does, and I pray that He will bring gentle healing and wholeness into every area of your lives. I encourage you to remember that healing and growth take time; in the same way as a shattered leg would take time to heal, so do shattered emotions. If you broke your leg, you wouldn’t expect to be able to run a marathon immediately. Instead (if you wanted it to heal well), you would listen to your doctor and pace yourself. You would do exercises to strengthen your leg, and set realistic goals along the way. The good thing (!) about a broken leg is that others are able to see the injury, which helps them to be more compassionate about why the person limps, and more understanding about the time it takes to heal. Sadly, when our emotions have been damaged, we (and others) often expect ourselves to just ‘get over’ the things that have happened to us, without dealing with our emotional turmoil. We try to get on with our lives by pushing aside our confusion and pain, often setting unrealistic goals and beating ourselves up or ‘crashing’ when we don’t attain them. Isn’t it strange how we can be understanding and caring about others, and encourage them to be gentle with themselves, yet we are often so harsh on ourselves?
I encourage you to start 2008 with a fresh commitment to pursue your healing and wholeness. Robin’s story of the goat track (pages 124-126 of our book ‘Out of the Dark) is a wonderful analogy not only of psychotherapy, but also of the healing process, and life. Think about it; if you were following the goat track up the mountain and you tried to run up the track, you’d only end up exhausted – or if you tried to take a short cut and go straight up, you’d probably end up in trouble, in difficult terrain, and have to find your way back to get ‘on track’ again. Just remember that small steps are good, pacing yourself is good, and attainable goals are good.
This forum is here for your good days and your bad days, so join us whenever you can and let us know how you are.